Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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