I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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