perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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