Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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