Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
