I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
