I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
