You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
