what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
