So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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