I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
