if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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