We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
