People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
