Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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