I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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