I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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