dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
