I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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