Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
