Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
