It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
