I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
