Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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