I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
