need another drink. this is the easiest way
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
