In the future we'll all be gay
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
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