How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
