you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
