I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
