Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
