It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
