i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
