Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
