Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
