I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
