My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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