I love black thongs
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
