So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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