something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
