I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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