Please, let me fuck your mom
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
