so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
