9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
