You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I just sucked dick on a ferry
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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