The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
