When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
So much Jack, so little girl.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
