The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
