there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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