I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
